Thanksgiving-joy and all it produces.

    Eucharisteo; the giving of thanks

Beholding God

Joy

Being filled with love

Fearlessness

Desiring to serve others

When you give thanks in all things, you behold the blessings of God and you become filled with gratitude at the grace he bestows. And we are able to give thanks in all things because all is grace.

Oxygen, butterflies, the Gospel, the way our mouths conveniently produce saliva when we chew food, papercuts, origami, tangerines, the stomach flu, the ocean- all is grace. You can give thanks when you are hacking up a storm in the bathroom just like you can give thanks when you’re feeling salty ocean wind on your face.

We get so used to grace that we take it for granted. Every day we do this, about so many things. That’s why we become so discontent and restless when we forget to look, because we become blind to grace. Love, though...it stands out because it’s the most powerful grace of all.

None of us deserve it.

When we marvel at grace, it brings us joy- overwhelming joy comes from that gratitude. It is not happy people that are thankful, it is thankful people that are happy. And as you behold the grace of God and His love for you...you become filled with that love. You can’t help it. When you give thanks and behold God and are filled with joy, love just happens. It pours in.
Beholding is becoming {John Piper} and so as you behold the love of your Creator you become filled with it.

Two things {to name a very small amount...} can happen as a result of being filled with this perfect love. You will be fearless, because perfect love casts out fear. {1 John 4:18. Hallelujah!} Love casts out fear, literally throws it out of your heart. It is the antidote for the poisonous fears that take over.
And you will have a genuine desire to serve others; to be compassionate- because the love of God dwells in you. {1 John 3:17}

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Basically...Give thanks, Behold God in the process, Find Joy in Him, Be filled with the Love you have beheld, Take that love and let it cast out your fear, and drive you to serve others selflessly.

This means using my five senses to experience the goodness of God, Being still; ceasing to strive. Giving thanks continually; in every situation. Finding joy in Christ.
Look, be still. See love, give thanks, find joy, behold, be filled, become.

Any circumstances+Thanksgiving=Joy.
Beholding=Becoming
Beholding God’s love=Becoming filled with it. Fear=gone.
Love>Fear.
Hope>Depression.
Love>Depression>Fear.
Love conquers all.

{2 Corinthians 3:18} “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”                                

Com·pas·sion

(noun)
1. a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. {Dictionary.com}

Compassion is the virtue of empathy for the suffering of others. It is regarded as a fundamental part of human love. {Wikipedia}

We as Americans are pretty awful at taking care of the poor and the hungry. We as Christians are even worse-considering that it’s our job and it’s not getting done.

James says that faith without works is dead. When we have saving faith but we don’t live it out, proclaim the Gospel, help the sick and homeless, care for widows and orphans- our faith becomes stagnant. It doesn’t matter one bit how sound your theology is, or how structured the liturgy of your church is if your faith is dead. If your faith is dead, how will you move mountains? How will God bless a church that has dead faith?

And when you stand before the face of God, that’s what will matter- whether you claimed to follow Christ and believe or whether you followed Christ, and lived out your faith as an expression of that belief. If faith is what saves you, will dead faith save you?  

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” {James 1:27}

Are you so caught up in yourself, so dead, that you drive by the homeless man on the sidewalk, making a snide remark about how he should work harder, and how he probably doesn’t even have a sick wife? I know I have, countless times. It’s so easy to become a judge and harden my heart.

{1 John 3:17} "But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?"

It is hypocrisy to be a believer and to not have compassion on others, the way it is hypocrisy to be a believer and be unforgiving. God has had compassion on us and saved us, and it has changed our lives. It should change everything about our lives- spur us on to be radically compassionate to others because of the overwhelming compassion our Heavenly Father has demonstrated to us.

I was reading Isaiah 58 earlier this week, and I saw this:

6“Is not this the fast that I choose:

 to loose the bonds of wickedness,

to undo the straps of the yoke,

to let the oppressed go free,

   and to break every yoke?

7 Is it not to share your bread with the hungry

   and bring the homeless poor into your house;

when you see the naked, to cover him,

   and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?”

“Bring the homeless poor into your house...” How many of us do that?
 
How many of us would stop and ask the homeless man home for dinner and a night in a soft bed? We don’t like to get our hands dirty, we don’t like to get involved, we don’t like to invest our time in unfortunate strangers...so we ignore our conscience and we drive.
Rolling down the window and asking, “Do you have a place to sleep tonight?” is....messy.

Compassion hurts because it is empathy- feeling the needs of others and their pain and then ACTING on it. Compassion is not a noun, as Dictionary.com would have us to believe. It is a verb. An action word. It is not a feeling, it is an action. Having compassion does not mean having an ache inside of you- it means having empathy that spurs you on to act and alleviate a need or the suffering or pain of another, the way that we avoid pain ourselves and go to great lengths to be comfortable. That is what true compassion is.


 
When we have compassion on others, we are blessed. Isaiah 58 continues by saying:
 

8 Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,

   and your healing shall spring up speedily;

your righteousness shall go before you;

   the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;

   you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’

If you take away the yoke from your midst,

   the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,

10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry

   and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,

then shall your light rise in the darkness

   and your gloom be as the noonday.

11 And the Lord will guide you continually

   and satisfy your desire in scorched places

   and make your bones strong;

and you shall be like a watered garden,

   like a spring of water,

   whose waters do not fail.

When we are compassionate we are blessed beyond our imaginations.
We are like watered gardens, the Creator God guides us continually; he makes us strong. When we cry out God answers us and he is our rear guard, we are satisfied in him. Our gloom is as the noonday- what a picture.

And yet this is us, every day: 
 


Walking past. And even if you’re convinced in your heart that you would never walk past and turn away from this pitiful starving man, how many times a month do you walk past and turn away from this:


 

How many opportunities to be compassionate to we pass up, daily? Our apathy is sickening.

I am done walking past and I am done turning away.
I am ready to be radically compassionate, to pour myself out for the hungry; to satisfy the desire of the afflicted.

Are you?
 

34 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ 41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ 44 Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ 45 Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ 46 And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

{Matthew 25:34-46}

Finally done hiding.

The moments when the hiding is over and you feel free...

...are also the moments when you feel the most vulnerable and unstable.

When all your life you've hid to feel safe, and you've never been open with anyone including yourself- no, especially yourself... openness terrifies.

I have more fear to cast out. And more people to be open with.
I have quite a lot of striving to cease if I'm ever to be still.
I have people to love on and serve; feet to wash.
I have thanks to give to God, over and over. 
I have joy...in my hand. I grasp it firmly. 
I have peace to attain and compassion to produce;
actions to be spurred into by it.
I have the Word of God Himself to keep me on track,
and the promise that he will never let me go.

Hell can hit me with all it's got, but through Christ I will overcome this week.

Rose-coloured glasses.

I am looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses
stained with the precious blood of Christ
His love for us overwhelms, it surpasses
His love overcame, it more than sufficed.

What joy I grasp, what hope is induced
seeing the world through this harsh, gory hue
how clearly I see, what gladness produced
when perceiving the Cross, I acquire this worldview.

Delusional? No. Unrealistic? Never.
Your steadfast love will never be severed.
I have cause for peace; I have cause to rejoice
but in these moments I find I have no voice

For looking through blood, seeing Your pain
remembering that only through Christ do I gain
looking at the forgiveness that grace attains
staring bewildered at loosed, destroyed chains
my speechless heart emits a joyous refrain:
“Worthy, Worthy is the Lamb who was slain.”

Naomi....

Perfected in love.

I hide; I wear a mask.
There is a reservoir of feeling that I never access. I’ve opened it recently, now everything is pouring out and overwhelming me. I want to be open with people, my family and friends. So I have to begin to be open with myself to begin this process. I see so much that I need to fight and rid myself of. Emotions that I’ve hidden for years, years- all pouring out. The Well of feeling...I don’t think I’ve just opened it. Maybe I’ve fallen in. I’ve fallen into a pit of fear and I’m thrashing wildly while I drown. I fear fear. It whispers, “Remember me?”

Yes. I remember it all too well. All of my fears. They suffocate. And because I hid them, put them into the deepest corners of my heart I expected them to be gone.

They’ve only strengthened and grown while I wasn’t looking. A hidden disease. Covered wounds I dressed hurriedly and then came back to find infected. I am infected- with fear that slaughters joy and seizes me; takes me over and paralyzes. Panic attacks- the latest manifestation of my fear.

Why do I fear?

And more importantly- why do I hide? Why do I take my emotions by the throat and hide them; deny their existence? All of those years- not crying or expressing myself. Holding back and never showing anyone. Slapping myself in the face until I stopped crying. I didn’t want to be weak. But now... I feel so lost. Does anyone truly know who I am? If they did....would they run? I am an oyster, closed so tightly you need a knife to open me. There is no pearl waiting on the inside, though. Just runny revolting mucus and aching muscle that feels so keenly.

I struggle with fear and depression.You fight depression with thanksgiving, Eucharisteo.
And you fight fear with....love. Because perfect love casts out fear. {1 John 4:18}
Maybe... Eucharisteo  joy and love work together. Whenever one gives thanks, isn’t it to the Creator, to the Giver? Every time you give thanks it is for a gift, for a blessing- an expression of his love. When you give thanks for His blessings and grace-gifts, you are filled with joy because you are looking, you are being still. You have ceased striving and the Almighty has satisfied you and you are filled with Him. And if God is love... and you are filled with God... then you are filled with love. And in turn, your fear is cast out. You are perfected in love. Because fear has no chance against the love that our Creator has for us. Fear has never stood a chance against love, and the fear in my veins doesn’t stand a chance against love- God’s love.
How do I fill myself with it so that my fear will flee?

How do you fill yourself with love?

I need to know; I need to fill myself with it.
That is what I am going to teach myself- to love. To be full of God’s love and be full of love for God. To breathe in and out, love. Showing that love to others and expressing it- expressing things and being open and unafraid, full of shameless love and void of the fear that prompts me to smother emotion. My fear will flee and there will be love coursing through these veins instead.

Thank you, Abba, for showing us the beau ideal of love- for surrounding us with it.  We breathe it and don’t even realize.
Thank you, thank you.

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness- the hardest task
what bitterness behind this mask
holding onto poisoned thoughts
my heart bound by barbed-wire knots

We always assume that we are above someone
when we give grace, forgiveness allot
but letting go never means deciding to be the better man
because, put quite simply- you’re certainly not.

Humble yourself, examine yourself
inconvenience yourself, see yourself
see the same dirt and blood on your own hands and face
and accept that you are under the same sovereign grace.

You will never experience freedom and healing
if you are above the washing; the kneeling.
It is never comfortable; such radical compassion-
it’s a painful, humiliating, deliberate action.

But when you do break free, when you do kneel,
you are helping yourself as you wash and you heal.
When you break free from your pride, the lie
the poison leaks in the blink of an eye.

The grace is spread, Christ’s majesty revealed
your wounds can’t compare to his
and thus you are healed.

Words...

I wrestle with words sometimes; struggle to express myself.
Insecurity, fear, overwhelming love... peace or panic.
Words are magical to me because of their power-
they can set you free or they can trap you.
They can build you up or crush your spirit.
Words to a page are like paint to a canvas.
You step back after pouring out your heart and you can show someone:

that is how i feel.




Words shape us and form us and define our character.
They reveal what our heart is and what matters to us.
And aren’t we all made from words, spoken into being by our Creator? I love how words have so much meaning and can impact a life; change it forever. Words like...          
Gospel, Jesus, Eucharisteo. Grace, forgiven, Joy.

Even though in many moments we use words to express the most beautiful of feelings, I believe it is the most beautiful of feelings that you cannot express- those moments when words utterly fail you and your tongue is still.

The times when you are filled to the brim with words are nothing compared to the times when your breath is taken away and you have nothing to add to the beauty that surrounds you.

When you feel Worshipful  and nothing you could possibly think to say would be more beautiful than the poetry of silence.

Those are the moments that I breathe in  Eucharisteo and breathe out Joy.

Moments that I live for in my wild life.

“In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart. ” -John Bunyan

To Irfan Khan.

Sometimes I dream about you.

You’re always shy, but you eventually grin and sit on my lap. You can somehow understand me, even though I don’t speak Hindi. But you never talk, you just nod and smile at me with those large dark eyes and listen. I tell you about the One True God and how much he loves you, how you’ll never be alone and how you can always trust him- especially when your life gets unbearably hard. You just smile and look, those eyes that go so deep, just looking.

Your eyes, Irfan. Your eyes...

I’ve never even met you, but I pray for you every day and I can’t ever remember feeling this way about a child. I’m not your mother, I’m not your sister, and I’m on the other side of the world.
I’ve only ever seen you in pictures and on the Compassion website, but you’ve stolen my heart, little boy- and you bring me so much joy that sometimes I don’t know who’s getting the better end of the deal with this sponsorship- you or me.

Someday, I’m going to meet you. I’m determined to. I imagine our faces will ache from smiling and you may be far too big to sit on my lap as you do in my dreams.
But as I sit here on the other side of the world looking forward to that day, know that I’m praying for you constantly. Your picture is on my dresser and hope for your future is in my heart.
To be a small, distant part of your life is an honor. I love you, Irfan.

Your friend and sponsor,
Esther