dreams.

I close my eyes.
my skirt sweeps sand onto my naked feet
and wind cajoles my hair into a wild dance
desperate for joy but my desperation fades
why be desperate when you are so close?
this chiffon dress doing marvelous things in the air-dance.
seagulls scream and circle in the cloudless sky
that expanse of ever-changing yet ever-constant blue
God so seemingly close and graspable
I want to stay here forever
dreaming.

I open my eyes.
My hands- more tired than my heart.
there are floors in need of a vigorous scrubbing
no wind reaches the inside of this big house
constant need to move and rush and work
constant forgetting of His constance.
tall looming trees hide the vast blue canvas the clouds are painted on
and I wonder, why is it so hard to see and to feel enthralled by my life?
Birds live in those tall looming trees
Have you seen the way your little sister smiles?
To say that beauty is hiding is like saying that oxygen
is running from your lungs.

There is a way to live that makes a dreamland day at the beach look silly.
There is a way to live that makes giving up everything entirely worth it.
There is a way to live and serve and not grow weary of doing good.
There is a God to serve that makes everything else fade away and nothing else matter but Him.

And so I open my eyes- again.