Abide With Me

"I need Thy presence every passing hour;
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54ALmQZ_NiA&feature

imagine this.

^{Revelation 5}

¹¹ Then I looked, and I heard around the throne 

and the living creatures and the elders

 the voice of many angels, 

 numbering myriads of myriads

 and thousands of thousands,  

¹² saying with a loud voice,

“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might
and honor and glory and blessing!”

¹³ And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth 

and under the earth and in the sea, 

and all that is in them, saying,

“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!”

¹⁴ And the four living creatures said, “Amen!” 

and the elders fell down and worshiped.

God, wake me up to awe.

dreams.

I close my eyes.
my skirt sweeps sand onto my naked feet
and wind cajoles my hair into a wild dance
desperate for joy but my desperation fades
why be desperate when you are so close?
this chiffon dress doing marvelous things in the air-dance.
seagulls scream and circle in the cloudless sky
that expanse of ever-changing yet ever-constant blue
God so seemingly close and graspable
I want to stay here forever
dreaming.

I open my eyes.
My hands- more tired than my heart.
there are floors in need of a vigorous scrubbing
no wind reaches the inside of this big house
constant need to move and rush and work
constant forgetting of His constance.
tall looming trees hide the vast blue canvas the clouds are painted on
and I wonder, why is it so hard to see and to feel enthralled by my life?
Birds live in those tall looming trees
Have you seen the way your little sister smiles?
To say that beauty is hiding is like saying that oxygen
is running from your lungs.

There is a way to live that makes a dreamland day at the beach look silly.
There is a way to live that makes giving up everything entirely worth it.
There is a way to live and serve and not grow weary of doing good.
There is a God to serve that makes everything else fade away and nothing else matter but Him.

And so I open my eyes- again.

{Beautiful}

You know, I always tease you about I'm your second mom and always taking care of you, (and I've lost count of how many times I've angered you for being too 'motherly' with you...) but something that you may not realize is that you take care of me just as much as I take care of you, if not more.

You keep me wild and happy, enthusiastic about being alive, and looking at the world in a beautiful way. How many times have you grabbed me and pulled me into the living room and forced me to dance with you to blaring music, no matter how loudly I protested? How many times have you instigated tickle fights, begged me to paint with you, buried your face in my hair and giggled? You've no idea how much I rely on you and how blessed I am by you.

You see everything differently, and show me.

You see me and nurture me and worry over me the same way that I do with you.

A couple months ago I was having a dreadful day, and I pushed you away when you tried to get me to open up to you. You ran out and slammed the door. But right before you did, you yelled "I just want to take care of you!" I paused and thought, "But that's my job, taking care of you." Right? Making sure you don't leave the house without looking proper, making sure you have clean clothes, helping you with your schoolwork, encouraging you to read your Bible, checking up on you and how you're doing. But I've come to the realization over the past few months of opening up to you that you do take care of me a whole lot more than I gave you credit for. I'm a mess, you know that. And you put so much effort into making me smile and be girlish when life gets ugly and serious- making me feel sane when it feels like I'm slipping. You, Naomi....Beautiful... are exactly that. This is my soppy way of saying thank you for everything that you do. Thank you, thank you, Moe.

You're my little sunbeam.

Wake me up.

"If home's where the heart is, 
mine is in the hands of God.
And that is just where my heart belongs."

{The City Harmonic}